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In the past, I met my first internet friend, he was great, and an amazing friend.
We played countless games, wasting countless hours in what we loved doing.Then...
He started sending these weird.. messages...
the messages was depressive in a way..
and I knew he was suffering from depression.And that unfortunate day.
His final message was "Thank you for everything..." and from that same day I was grounded, preventing me from preventing him from his death.1 months passed and the grounded was done, I messaged him and there was no response.
I presume he was dead. and I felt guilty.. I could have stopped his death... but I didn't.. because I was hindered... at the right moment...
what an unlucky day.times passed and I still contemplate on this moment, I may have moved on but guilt won't be gone even whatever I do in my life.all I can do is hope in nothing.
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Musashi was my first love, she was good, beautiful and soft-spoken.
I loved her, yet I think she didn't love me back.I wish I could forget what she did.
She betrayed my trust the first time and I forgave her.
And she betrayed me yet again.I was only a puppet on her view.
Someone she could control.
Until I stopped speaking to her.
It all ended, and the strings we're cut.I miss her, I'll give you that.
But nothing will fix the relationship she threw and burned to the ground.
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DATA EXPUNGED
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My nihilism predates back to the time I became self aware that the world is cruel and shitty.My belief that nothing in this world or universe has purpose or meaning seemed to fit what I was thinking.The world is a second hell after all, all I'm excited about is the time where the world burns down because of humanity's arrogance and pride.
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